Philosophy Of The Sooner Tea Party: Beat Legislator 'Until His Behavior Improves'

Here, excerpted from its website, is the political philosophy of the Sooner Tea Party as it outlines the value of robocalls:

But what the person that received the call ultimately thinks isn’t important at all for our purpose, the legislator getting all these calls and having to explain his deeds; that is important!

Old Napkin Dan (Sullivan, Tulsa Republican) doesn’t know how many people got the message or how many were motivated enough to call him. All Napkin Dan knows is that pissed off people are calling his office and complaining about his work! He sees his carefully sculpted reputation being sullied, to an unknown number of his voters, and worse of all, he can’t respond to the charges unless they call him! (Editor's Note: The "Napkin Dan" title refers to a bill Sullivan sponsored that would have required the use of linen napkins instead of paper napkins in restaurants.)

Next thing you know old Napkin Dan is talking about the “attacks” in his newsletters or at the local coffee shop, making sure his side of the story is out. Now Napkin Dan is going to have to fudge the facts of his indefensible vote but that is okay, he is a better at being a politician than his constituents are.

A few hundred dollars later you have put Napkin Dan on the battlefield of your choosing, fighting an opponent he can not strike, leaving him one way out, to lie his little socks off or to man up and admit he fornicated with the canine.

Napkin Dan has even done your work for you by spreading the tale, you just nudged the snowball a bit, it takes off on its own momentum with a bit of help from Napkin Dan.

A few months later the questions have finally stopped coming if he is lucky. Napkin Dan is nervous, gun shy, he feels vulnerable and exposed in his position. Does he hate you for exposing you? Maybe, but more likely he fears and respects you even more. You didn’t come hat in hand asking to be enlightened on political reality, you smacked him upside the head and he knows the beating will continue until his behavior improves.

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