Fearing that I am about to become the aging curmudgeon that I once assailed as being out of touch and out of tune, I have turned to the television networks to right my apparently atrophied brain.

The Aging Curmudgeon

Becomes The Social Gadfly

A Bit Of Tongue In Cheek

By Mike McCarville

Where previously I spent ALL my tv time watching the History Channel, or Discovery, or A&E to enlighten and educate myself, I now watch Housewives and the Kardashians and that late night lady (whose name I can never remember...Chelsea something?) and the midget and their guests talk nasty. I have begun reading The Lost Ogle regularly. I consciously seek out episodes of House Hunters on HGTV that feature lesbians and gay men searching for ever-better domiciles.

This habit change on my part likely has caused my wife to conclude I have slipped into progressive dementia, so startling is my transformation. Where once I could talk only about American politics and government, the Federalist Papers, the Revolution, or the Civil War, or the battle of Leyete Gulf in October 1944, or the Mayan temples in Tikal, I now speak glowingly of pool boys, month-long-engagements-turned-into-quickie-Vegas-marriages to the hot babes of the day.

I have effectively knocked 55 years off my 69. I am with it. I am cool. Eat your hearts out, curmudgeons.

Share |